charlieDEAN’S Blog

This weekend I spoke at our weekend services.  I opened a new series called “Ordinary Heroes.”  Here’s a thought beyond the message.

I grew up in this crazy fundamentalist environment where I remember people criticizing churches for “just preaching good works all the time.”  And I guess I know what they were saying, but it felt to me that at some level there were anti-good deeds.  But when I look at the life of Jesus, he was all about doing good things for people.

One last thought…I ended with a benediction, albeit a very non-traditional one as it came from Seth Godin’s book The Big Moo.  Several people have asked me for it, so here it is:

You are not a cog.

You are not an assistant or adminitrator.

You’re not a gofer or middle manager, either.

No, you’re creative.  A valuable asset to your family and your community.  A person who can make a difference to an organization.

You are capable of having an impact, leaving a legacy, creating things that are outstanding.

You are not ordinary.

In fact, you’re remarkable.

Now, hurry.  Don’t let yourself (and the rest of us) down.

Conventional wisdom says that we learn the most when we fail.  But Marcus Buckingham, for several years now, has been saying the exact opposite — that we learn the most by studying our successes and building on our strengths.

This morning I started reading Go Put Your Strenghts to Work (amazon link) and so for the next 6 weeks, I’ll be on a journey of strength discovery and finding out ways to play more to my strengths and less to my weaknesses.  (There will be some interruptions due to vacation time and such…)

The book is designed to be read one chapter a week, with assignments and viewings of his “Nooma-style” video Trombone Player Wanted, which I ordered this morning.

I’ll post as I go!

I officiated TWO weddings this weekend!  Craziness.

Both were very nice — one was a more traditional church wedding and the other was in the Luthy Botanical Garden, which was very a  cool setting for the wedding and reception.

Okay, it took me some time, but I’ll answer Chris’ question:

A long-term goal?  I’d have to say, that right at this moment, I don’t have anything that is really driving me.  It may be a season-of-life thing — but right now, it feels like my goals have gotten pretty short-term, need-of-the-moment…like:

• Get Gavin potty trained
• Get Madox sleeping through the night
• Figure out where to get some extra cash so I can golf more
• Get back into the gym

As far as career/ministry goals, I’d have to say that if you asked me a year ago I could have listed several, but things are pretty foggy right now, and I’m okay with that — at least for a season.

The biggest thing about achieving long-term goals for me is setting minor successes.  One of the things we ask here a lot is “what is the ‘win’ for the next 3 months?”  In other words, there is one long-term goal that I have (that I’m hesitant to share), that when I think about it, it’s overwhelming — but if I can break it down into minor successes, then I can see progress which motivates me to keep pushing forward.

As far as books on goal-setting…nothing comes racing to mind…except that I think that for me, it’s not just about reaching goals but about the kind of person that I’m becoming.  So, I tend to not read in areas that are specific about strategies for goal-setting, but are more about character forming and development.  Probably the book that’s been most influential in the last couple of months is Henry Cloud’s book Integrity: the courage to meet the demands of reality. (here’s the amazon link)  Another book that is influential to the way that I lead teams, and help them in focusing on goals is Patrick Lencioni’s book, Politics, Silos & Turf Wars.  (amazon link)

Several of us at work are reading Organic Community by Joseph Myers.  I loved it, but it’s one of those books that raises a whole lot of holy discontent inside of me.

Overall, his big idea is that creating community isn’t something you can “master plan,” but something that you can create environments for — and then it has to happen on its own.

[This is hard sometimes, because I often feel, as I talk to people, that their expectation of the church is that we get them into a small group that will meet all their social/spiritual expectations.  The reality is, I CAN'T DO THAT FOR PEOPLE!  I can create environments for people to meet other people -- to give them networking opportunities, but after that, they have to make it happen.]

Sorry for the brief rant — Myers’ point is actually bigger, having to do with being organic organizations, organic churches that value process, mystery and collaboration over the “master plan.”

So we left the church and drove through Pekin to the cemetary.  There were about 40-50 cars, AND PEOPLE KEPT PASSING US — one guy cut into the line so he could make a right-hand turn.  So I guess I have a question…

Is there ANY funeral ettiquette anymore?

Great quote from Rob Bell, talking about criticisms of Mars Hill that they don’t talk about “theology” enough and don’t apply labels like “inerrant” to the Bible…

We continually have people who [say], “You haven’t condemned the proper groups to hell.” 

I’m not aware that that’s my job.  “You haven’t made all sorts of definitive statements about the Bible.”  I get up every week and I invite people to do what the Bible says to do.  Is there something more?  I’d rather do what the Bible says that sit around and argue technical words about what the Bible is.   So I think what you have, in Western Michigan is a terribly sick religious culture that is more interested in Pharasaical discusssions about who’s more right than other people when billions of people in the world are starving.  And I think what happens in our community is we don’t have time for petty discussions over in a corner when the world is hurting and is looking for an authentic representation of Jesus.  And Jesus did not say ‘they will know God is real because you all are right.’  He said, “you will know the truth and the truth will set you free,” and the first part of verse says, “if you hold to my teachings.”  “You live how I’m teaching you to live and not only will you be free, but the world will know it.”

So I take theology as not an esoteric discussion up here [I assume he's pointing to his head].  In the Bible, the highest measure of theology is fruit.  Are marriages being healed?  So don’t criticize us because we don’t use your words about the Bible.  Ask whether marriages are being healed, ask whether addicts are being freed from drugs.  Ask whether widows and orphans are being cared for.

I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily a great reviewer of books.  I like to read, and I know what I think…so I’ll give you a couple of thoughts:

• The section titled “Samwheel” was clearly my favorite.  In it, Anne talks honestly (as she always does) about the realities of parenting a teenager and dealing with his attempts at individuation.  This is where Anne is at her best — raw, honest, the villain of her own stories — but somehow learning and growing and figuring out what it means to mature and become for like Jesus.
• If I had to summarize what I felt as I read this book, two words come to mind, “uncomfortable,” and “bewildered.”  I was “uncomfortable,” in that while I appreciate the journey Anne is on, trying to figure out Christian faith, her politically liberal viewpoints are tough to swallow, and don’t seem to be grounded in any biblical understanding.
• I was bewildered in that this book seemed to have little to do with faith.  Great writing, great moral stories — but it didn’t often seem to connect with becoming more like Jesus.  I’m not sure that I’m such a big fan of Anne after this book.  Traveling Mercies was great…but the trajectory of her last two books has left a sour taste in my mouth.

I attended a funeral this morning and had several thoughts to blog about…three to be precise.

I usually get bored by pastors at funerals.  It seems like at many funerals, pastors use the occasion to use the bully pulpit and they talk waaaaay too long.

Tim did an excellent job — of honoring the man,  paying tribute to his life, gleaning out the best things about him and then briefly focusing people’s thoughts on where they might go when they die.

It’s a hard job — especially when you don’t know the person very well, and so you’re not confident of their spritual state…and he did a great job!

Okay, I’ll answer Summer’s question first, then Chris’.

Assuming no “accidents” between now and when I get the “minor surgery” done and we really are done having kids…

There’s this cool sense of “completeness.”  The other night we ran to Wal-Mart to get a few things and it was the first time that all six of us were in the van together at the same time and it was really cool, thinking “this is us — this is the Dean family.”

I do have to say that I won’t miss the baby stage…only one thing I really love about babies is when they fall asleep on my chest and I can feel them breathing against me…that’s really cool…

However, I think that when Madox is Jaxon’s age (15 mo.) I’ll start getting very sentimental — I love the stage that Jaxon is at…laughing, walking, starting to talk, but he still loves to be cuddled and hugged on.

Also…I’m just starting to get a tinge of feeling old…I remember 10 years ago, looking at people that were at the stage we’re at now and thinking, “man, they are such grownups,” but I don’t think of myself as very grown-up or mature.

Great question!